~ A Beautiful Mystery ~

The Gospel - Defined by me:
An amazing feat of impossibility, created by God for Himself, to seek and save the ones He created who lost themselves into the temptation of the sinfulness of the world. An act of mercy, grace, and incredible love towards those undeserving, selfish, sinful people who are in every corner of the earth. Choosing to humble oneself, one receives this incredible thing, accomplished by one God, by one Man also, for the forgiveness of one's sins. This Gospel, this truth, this saving grace, changes you forever. Inner-joy springs from inside you once you feel the hand of God touch your heart and call you away from every worldly thing. ONLY THROUGH THE BLOOD OF ONE PERFECT MAN WHO WAS ALSO GOD ARE WE SAVED.

Romans 5:18-19 -- "Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's [Adam's] disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's [Jesus's] obedience the many will be made righteous."

Only through Jesus's perfect obedience are we made righteous. The book of Romans is wonderful. Seriously, I've been reading through it, and it's so amazing! It's written to Christians, so even though it was written hundreds of years ago, it applies to our everyday lives.

I closed my eyes and felt a physical touch on my heart that night. After hearing Craig (at least I think it was Craig...it's all a blur) speak about the Gospel, I had acknowledged in my heart that I probably was not a Christian. Yeah, I believed the stories. Yeah, I thought Jesus was a real person. But did I believe that Jesus really died that gruesome of a death? Did people really do that back then? Was Jesus really God's son, and if so how on earth would his death atone for my sin? Did I really think that Jesus had blotted out all my sin? Was that even really necessary? Did I really need a savior? Questions ran through my mind all the time, but I ignored them. That is, until this night. It was a while ago, and I remember the only reason I went to Advance that year was to hang out with all my new friends, but God changed me that night. I felt Him, in my heart... I had a lump in my throat, a knot in my chest, and tears in my eyes, but I felt Him, none-the-less. Once I had that peace in my heart, once that joy rose throughout me, I promised myself that I would never, ever doubt again. How could I doubt something so real?

And, (thanks be to God) I haven't doubted for years. But lately, I have caught myself looking at evidence. I would choose not to, and to just believe, but my school and my schedule requires me to evaluate for myself, and I've seen more than I'd like too of the world's view on creation, evolution, and the fact that we can't see God. They state that without evidence, our religion is nothing.

I have had to make myself think about these things, and forced myself more than once to remember my promise to myself, and that feeling that I had years ago. That was real. That is all the evidence I need. I also look to the Bible, and find so much wisdom, so much wonderful teaching there. No text-book of mine tells the story of my salvation. No history book can save my life, or rather, raise me from the dead. I was so dead. I had absolutely no chance of survival, because I came into this world dead. My breaths and words and thoughts and actions were skin deep. I was not alive in my soul, my heart did not know what it meant to beat with life. I see so many around me who do not know what it is to live. How can they know? They have rejected life, or no one has ever told them that they indeed are dead.

I love, in John 3:8, when Jesus says, "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."

That's the mystery, then. We feel it. Some people say "If you can't see, hear, or feel something, it doesn't exist." Yet, the wind whispers every night to us. Feeling the wind rush over you is no different than feeling our God work in our hearts. As for seeing, I see God's work everyday. From the time I get up, to the time I go to sleep. I'm living in it. Most would argue, and ask for evidence, some proof of what I say, but I say "open your eyes! Look around you! This is no accident!" It cannot be an accident, there is too much...evidence.

I hate that word, "evidence." It demands proof. It takes away the wonderful mystery of God. There is no mystery in evidence. We will never understand fully the things of God, it is impossible. His plans are to Holy even for Angels, who are in every way above us.

Deuteronomy 29:29 (another one of my personal favorites): "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."

Such a mystery.

In Matthew, when Jesus is teaching, he says, "You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive. For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it."

Jesus then proceeds to tell them parables, which I love. He speaks in parables! So that they might understand! The things of God, His teachings, are too wonderful for us to comprehend, so Jesus translates it into what we can understand, and even then it blows our minds. It's x1000 better than Aesop's Fables, which are still pretty good. In Jesus's words are the secrets of the universe, given to us. How can we close our Bibles? How can we hold inside all which needs to be shouted from mountain-tops? Why, when I feel like I need to share the gospel with someone, do I back down? Is that not my entire purpose in life? Am I not called as a Christian to spread the news? Oh, fear of man, you hold me back! If I could only let you go, nothing should stop me. Oh, stupid brain, can you not feel what's in my heart? I cry in my soul when I think about that one person in particular that I still have not approached with the gospel. Am I really being their friend by keeping the secret of life away from them? No. I am not loving them well. And what's the worst, rejection? If God is truly calling them, they cannot reject him forever, and that is encouraging. Also, it is not my words that take effect on their soul, only God can do that. So my heart is lifted.

And so, I leave you with this; I want to believe in a mystery, know it's true, and never question it. The stillness, the quietness of knowing what's real even if the whole world is not, is worth everything. What I feel when I encounter God is not of this world, not by any means. So even if my entire life is a lie, even when walls that I've built come crashing down, even when I get rejected or friends leave me or everything else fails, I know that God will not. I know that He will never fall. I know that I am safe, and that He is in control.

I'm living out a perfect plan, and that's all I need to know.

~ Kendall