Caution...this post is slightly awkward, but it gets better.
So. Valentine's Day approaches. I don't hate writing about love, but I do hate writing about what teens think is love. So never mind that. Right now, we're going through John Piper's book
Don't Waste Your Life. I just thought, since it being this time of year and everything, I should try to use even just the title to relate. Here's my attempt:
I don't want to waste my life simply waiting. I don't want to waste it trying to rush things either. When it comes to love (or anything for that matter), all I want to do is walk out God's plan for me, and not even try to make my own plans. I don't want to waste my life telling myself that there's someone for me out there when there isn't. Mrs. March (the mother of four girls from Louisa May Alcott's
Little Women) puts it perfectly:
"To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it. . . right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. . .Leave these things to time. Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not."
Think of it like this:
If God has a plan for me to get married, I'd run to that.
If his plan is for me to be a missionary, I'd run to that.
If his plan for me is to have a career for myself, I'd run to that.
If his plan is for me to be a stay at home mom, I'd run to that.
But, what if his plan for me is singleness? Would I run to that?
What if it's pain and suffering? What about that?
What if it's an early death, having a husband who leaves, or constantly having a broken heart? What then?
Like Peter in Matthew, I want to say, "Yes! I'd run to that! I'd even run to death if it were for Jesus!"
But, Peter denied him. His closest friend. Not once, but three times.
I know that I am only human, and deep in my heart I want so badly to shy away from suffering. I want to flee from pain. My heart says it can only stand so much before it breaks, but I forget; I have God on my side. He has a plan for me. If it were any of these things, it's perfect.
If I die early, it's perfect.
If I suffer through pain and get hurt, it's perfect.
I want to run to what's
next, without missing what
is.
I want to savor the joy and fellowship right now before it's gone, or at least changes again.
I don't want to loose hope either. Hope for something great.
I don't want to depend on the future for happiness, because the future is so entirely uncertain, that it hasn't even been lived yet. (Sounds silly, I know.)
(Okay, tangent: how cute are they, right?!?!?)
Nobody has ever lived my life before. I am the first.
I am so thankful that I have a guide who shows me the way instead of me floundering around for some path to follow.
I have a
written map that literally tells me exactly how to act. I cannot follow it all the time, because I am human, but it's there, and it's encouraging every time I pick it up.
And the best part is, this Guide knows my every need, my every desire, and my every pitfall.
I want to follow him first in all things, including my feelings.
I'm not very good at conclusions, and I never have been. But, there is this:
Romans 5:3-5
"
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
